Thoughts about home schooling

 I was asked my thoughts about home schooling and pluses and minuses.  First this is a big topic that one posting would not do Justice to cover.

A few thoughts:

1.  Anyone that has been in education for a while sees cycles/trends.  30 years ago it was common to hear parents complain about the education system.  “The schools are bad, except in our district.”  That progressed to, “Schools are bad even in our district except for our school.”  Then came, “The educational system and schools are bad, teachers are bad, except for my children’s teachers.”

2.  Parents for years have felt that because they went through the educational system, that they could be teachers just as good as someone who was formally trained to be a teacher.

3.  Teaching is both an art and a science

4.  When questioned about what they remember about almost any age, research has shown that parents/adults have poor memories.  

5.  Education includes not only facts, processes, terms, principles, etc. but also how people think.  

6.  Children benefit greatly by hearing from a variety of voices and learning to adapt to a variety of setting.

7.  There are far more parents doing a poor job home schooling their children than are those doing an excellent job.

More to follow

Building a sense of community with preschool.

 With young children the first thing to consider is that they are learning new things every day.  Don’t assume they know how to sit together at group.  Don’t assume they know how to work together at clean-up time.  Don’t assume they know what to do when playing a game like Duck, Duck, Goose.  Don’t assume they know what is meant by line up?  Everything may be new and even if the concept isn’t new, the setting is and they are still finding their way.

At group time a common practice is to use carpet squares to help children know where to sit.  In my classroom I would use colored plastic tape.  Sometimes it would be shapes on the floor, spaced far enough apart so that children were not encroaching on another’s space.  Or I would use the tape to make a large rainbow for the children to sit on.  Each color would be about 3” from the next in a rainbow shape.  Sometimes if it fit a particular theme I would use contact paper to stick a picture of something to the floor.  In those cases I would have the kids sit behind the picture rather then right on it.

At clean up time I stressed that clean-up is a part of play and not a separate time.  The children would start cleaning up about two minutes after we would give them the 5 more minutes of play warning.  Children had the choice of picking up things, handing things to another child to put away or having someone else hand things to them.  Additionally all during play time if a child was leaving an activity they would either put it away or organize it for the next person to use.  I used the same strategies with 2 year olds through 5 year olds with minor variations by ge and it was effective with all.  Children use spaces and materials based on how they find them.  If it is messy then their play will be disorganized and likely not last long.

Helping children find a place to play.  Within my classroom we stressed helping children entering play.  As a child was entering a play space that meant the role of the adult is to recognize the child needs a place and materials and in some cases a role to play.  I would say something like, “Hi John, would you like to use the red truck or the green one?” Or some other thing that brings the child in.  Otherwise there are some children that will feel that the play and materials need to be broken down and restart for them to have a place within the play.  I have seen many children that enter play like Godzilla, tearing things down so they can fit in.  Similarly there are some that feel they need to knock everything down as they leave.

Learning new skills for working with children

 As a college student I had a course that dealt with guidance of children and I felt that I had a certain knack for working with individual children.  However the best experience of my professional life came when I was hired as an instructor and supervising teacher with Michigan State University’s Child Development Laboratories.  My first semester there I was required to attend a course taught by a faculty member who was the Director of the program (Dr. Marjorie Kostelnik).  It was important that I learn the specific skills taught because I would be required within my job to give direction and feedback to the students in the lab about their use of guidance skills.  This also meant that I had to be a good role model in using those same skills.  I can say that those Thursday evenings were some of the best professional development experiences of my career.  A couple of years later Marjorie and others turned that course into a textbook, Guiding Children’s Social Development.  

Throughout my career I have given over 100 workshops to parent and professional audiences about various content in that book.  It is important to remember that learning a new skill takes time and practice.  Children will sometimes act out for a short while because you are not handling things the way you might have in the past.  Stick with it.  Remember the goal of all guidance is to help children to be self disciplined and effective social problem solvers.  These skills will do just that.

When does a parent's "wants" become a problem?

Too often today children are given the message that they are growing up in tough times.  That today's world is so much harder than any other time in history.  Along with this is the prevalence of helicopter parents and bulldozer parents who want to make their every experience a success.  On the other side there are those that opt for "free-range" parenting styles.  One gives the message that children can't succeed and parent anxiety increases child anxiety.  The other is that nothing matters other than what the child wants.  

Another issue plaguing learning and education is the belief that feelings = facts and theory = truth.  Parents and others have long felt empowered to control or influence schools.  The idea that, "I was a student in all of the grades and graduated from school therefore I am qualified to tell teachers and administrators (trained professionals) how to do their jobs.  While we see this happening a little bit in other professions where someone will google something and then presume to tell a Dr. not only their condition, but also what treatment they expect, no other occupation has had the long history of parent encroachment that teaching has had.  Schools have always been open to parent input and want parents as partners, not bosses.

Here is a situation that was replayed many times over the years of teaching at the university level.

Mom is upset that her daughter is getting a C in a class that she needs to get into the desired program.  It is likely that she will need an A to be accepted.  The daughter has the option of retaking the class but that is not what the daughter wants to do.

The mom called the President's office of the university to complain about the instructor.  Someone that has a Ph.D. in the content and has been teaching it for over 8 years.  The President's office passes the mom on to the Provost's office (Vice President over Academics), who passes her on to the College Dean over the department.  Then I get a call as the department chair asking about the situation and if I have had contact with the parent about this and with the instructor.  The parent has never contacted me and I was unaware of any issue.  An additional factor is the university faculty are bound by the FERPA regulations which do not allow the sharing of a student's academic experiences with anyone, including the parent, unless we have written approval by the student.  This is usually extremely frustrating for parents as in many cases they are the ones paying for the student to be at college.

I call the mom and she wants:  1.  the professor fired, 2. her daughter to be allowed to retake every low score exam (not only one time but as many times as needed until she can "earn" an A on every test and every assignment).  3.  for her daughter to be automatically be allowed into the chosen major even though she has not earned the requisite GPA.  The mom also lets me know that she and her husband are donors and that if these things do not take place then they will stop donating to the university and will pull their daughter from the university and their other children will not be allowed to attend our university.

As in the other situations I was able to resolve things to the satisfaction of the parent and her daughter.  No one was fired or reprimanded, the daughter had a few choices to make including choice of a major (which she ended up changing to something in my department) and letting her mom know that she was an adult who can handle things herself.  Interestingly the mom had two other daughters that ended up majoring in disciplines within my department and the mom told many friends that if they ever had issues with their child at the university (even in other departments they should call me and I would help them.

Parents, throughout their child's education are and should be strong advocates.  But there is a limit to that input and they are not the bosses of the teachers and administrators.