Wednesday, March 14, 2012

How to get over the misperception that if you are taking a parenting class you must be a bad parent.

I have the opportunity to teach parenting classes at church.  Often there is a perception that only those who are identified as bad parents would attend.  It is seen much like going to driving school.  You must be doing something wrong.  This analogy is the wrong one because in order to get a licence to drive in the first place you had to take a class and / or test to prove you could handle it.  Where is the test you take for how to be a parent.  There isn't even an owners manual. 

Parents mostly just make it up through thinking about how they were raised or reacting based on their mood at the time.  in the era where we have more knowledge than ever before about every imaginable topic we also resist stepping into the unknown or parenting with a little useful information.

Starting each session there is no introduction of oneself and a listing of parenting failings.  Ninety percent is helping to develop an attitude about parenting that will result in positive interactions and parent/child relationships growing so that the result are happy parents and well-behaved, self directed children.  Ten percent of the time is solving problems. 

Some parents would like the magic ticket to successful parenting.  They want the short-cut.  They want the easy fix or quick answer.  Just like they did not get into the situation overnight, they will not get out of it overnight.  Parenting takes time.  It means being invested in both your own and your child's future.  It means patience.  It means delaying gratification.  It is not easy.

1 comment:

  1. I love this Duane! Mark and I took a parenting class a few years ago. The only place it was being taught was at the juvenile detention center. When the role was passed around, one of the questions was "are you here under court order?" HOW SAD that we were the only ones that checked the no box. Parenting classes are a blessing to help our kids NOT be in juvenile detention when older--or us in the loony bin!
    <3 Debbie