Saturday, March 26, 2011

Do children need to be perfect?

Often I get the chance to be around young children and I love to watch them in their play and how they negotiate their world.  Parents at times find themselves apologizing for their child's behavior in situations that are merely kids, being kids.  (Do you see the connection to the blogs name?)  Parents often attempt to stop any misbehavior that might be judged as inappropriate by other adults that are present.  Kids learning is active and often loud.  The parent does best to help take off the edges and not stop the behavior.  A restricted child is one who lacks confidence and the ability to be assertive and succeed in life.  An indulged child expects the seas to part for them as someone is always rescuing them.  A child without limits never develops the internal controls to put limits on their own behavior.  It is a difficult balance but luckily the balance is not a single point but a broad field where any one of 50 answers might be the right one.  parenting is an uncertain science and both parents and children are learning as they go.

5 comments:

  1. I'm wondering what we did in our visit to spur this post... I know I apologized about the kids being kids. I'm just so insecure, especially around such an expert. :) It was GREAT to see you guys, though. Thanks again for your hospitality (and yummy food!)

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  2. My favorite parenting metaphor I've heard you give is when you said you asked a group at a workshop what the correct way hang toilet paper is. You said that created quite a discussion/argument and finally you said it doesn't really matter how you hang it up and that there is no one right answer on how to parent. I've used that metaphor once or twice when I hear people talking about 'the correct' way to teach.

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  3. http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/03/31/stepp.kids.all.right/index.html?hpt=T2

    This is completely off topic but I just read this and thought I would share!

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  4. I have not had any children visit in the past year that have acted in anyway but normal.

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  5. Laughing at the comments! Did I tell you (20 times?) my favorite story of a kid being a kid? I was working at the Credit Union and I saw a dad swat his TODDLER on the behind and say, "Quit acting like a baby!" HELLLLLLLLLLLLO!!!

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